I’m starting this project from a difficult place. Maybe it’s the start of something good…
In the last few month I’ve, as many other people around the world, had more than enough time to reflect about life given the current pandemic. In a way this time has come as a blessing. Pre-pandemic, I was arguing quite a lot with the husband, finding little or no joy in my normal daily routines and most importantly, I was not giving myself time so I took the opportunity also to learn and started listening to podcasts where I came across with the concept of “Wellness”. I heard the word before but I never really gave it much thought until now and I feel like a weight has been lifted of my shoulders.
When I was younger, maybe early 20’s., I always felt like there was something missing in my life, I just couldn’t figure out what it was. I thought it was my inexperience or the fact that I didn’t have somebody to guide me through it. I was the type of girl who liked making to do lists with the best of the intentions, hoping for a more disciplined, balanced life but ending doing quite the opposite. Ignoring all the activities planned and to be perfectly honest, ending worst than when I started. With much more to do to repair the damage caused for my irresponsibility and with a big feeling of emptiness.
Fast forward to my late 20’s, early 30’s and at that point I was coping better. I had adopted the “responsive” technique. I was no longer making lists or drawing plans for what I wanted to do, I was just reacting to what life was throwing at me. Did I like it? No, but it was better than the feeling of failure.
Nowadays I’m still just responding to life, I haven’t changed much and the emptiness is still there but I want to give a go to the whole “wellness” concept. I want a better emotional, spiritual, physical, intellectual, social, occupational, financial and environmental well-being feeling, I want to be more aware of my choices and although I know it’ll be bumpy at times, what I want more than anything is for this to be the time I finally get to experience that feeling of achievement.